Tori Cascone
What is the most fundamental change you’ve experienced since your time as a first-year student?
At the start of my time here at Wake Forest, I felt lost. I didn’t know who I was, or the person I wanted to be. All I knew was that I wanted community. Like most freshmen, I wanted friends. I molded myself to fit the needs of others, rather than being who I wanted to be, and doing what I wanted to do. I quickly realized that this did not work, and the communities I found myself in were not the right communities for me. I still felt lost, and I still did not feel whole.
Virtue cultivation is an extremely important part of my experience at Wake Forest. Through trials and successes, I have grown into a version of myself that is more whole, both in who I am and want to become. I realized that the person I want to be is a person of virtue. The program of Leadership and Character taught me this well. In these years I have become grounded in myself, grounded in goodness. With that, I have found real, authentic, community, and mentors that have greatly influenced me and my character for the better.
With this said, there have been many times that I have thought about not being good. Real goodness isn’t naïve. Honoring defeat means admitting the weight of failure, loss, and despair. Sometimes when everything feels broken, it’s tempting to ask, “Why even try?” I’ve learned that goodness is not pretending that life is fair. It is choosing to act well even when life is not.
Cultivating hope has let me choose good in a world that seemed bad; Hope sustains goodness. The virtue of hope sees defeat and still calls us to act. It is what makes goodness possible when the world seems not to deserve it. There have been so many moral reminders in my years here that there is goodness in the world, and I am part of it.
Thus, in times of uncertainty, I now choose to respond by staying true to my character, remaining hopeful of good. Staying true to my character helps me remain hopeful in hard times. Hard times will not derail me from what matters. I remain whole. I remain able to answer my calling.
What non-academic experience at Wake Forest was most meaningful to you?
There are a few experiences that speak to me as what I am most grateful for. This year, I became president of the club Songbird: a music support based program to help those with Alzheimer’s and dementia in the Winston-Salem community. Weekly, we go to the Intergenerational Center and sing to day patients.
Through Songbird, I’ve been singing to patients with dementia for almost 3 years. This experience has reshaped how I understand connection. I’ve learned to pay attention differently. A lot of the time people responded to the music. Since the auditory complex remains quite active in patients with memory loss, many are able to sing and recall lyrics, even when they have been mostly nonverbal otherwise. However, some don’t. But that wasn’t the measure of whether it mattered. The point was to be there. To be present, and to trust that presence, without demand, has so much value.
Another extremely important experience of mine is TOPS. Twice a week, I worked out with women as part of TOPS, The Osteoporosis Prevention Study. I was volunteering for research, but it very much felt like community. These women are generous, curious, and wise. They asked about my life, they told me stories about theirs. We talked about travel, health, getting older, and occasionally nothing at all. There was a steadiness to those sessions I came to rely on. These sessions again taught me the importance of presence. About showing up, being kind, and making space for each other. That’s the kind of strength I want to carry forward.
What song or songs will always remind you of your time at Wake Forest? Why?
At songbird, we have a set list that we use each week. Those songs will always make me feel at home. I have so many amazing memories with this list. My heart feels so warm whenever I hear a song off of it.
I will attach the list here:
- Stand my Me
- My Girl
- Make Me Home Country Road
- Sweet Caroline
- Lean on Me
- Hound Dog
- I Wanna Dance With Somebody
- Ring of Fire
- My Way
- Dancing Queen
Wake Forest’s Pro Humanitate motto is a guiding philosophy for many students and alumni. Did it have an impact on your student experience and has it influenced your plans for the future?
Regarding my future plans, I’ve gone back and forth between PA and OT school for most of this year. I’ve tried to make the decision based on what makes sense, but the principle of Pro Humanitate teaches us that clarity doesn’t always come that way.
What has helped most with this decision is asking myself where my real motivations lie. The motto, “For Humanity,” calls us to use our compassion, talents, and knowledge to help others. It does not ask us to know what our life will look like. It does not tell us an exact path of how this is done.
Thus, instead of asking myself what career I want, I began to ask what kind of relationships I want to build, what kind of spaces I want to be in, and what kind of care I want to offer. I don’t need all the answers yet. I just need to keep moving in a direction that feels honest.
Now what? What is my calling? I guess I still don’t know. All I know is that I want to help people: being good, doing good. And perhaps with that, l can clarify what my calling is.
What was your favorite class outside your major or minor areas of study and why did it appeal to you?
My favorite class I took at Wake Forest was comparative government with Dr. Siavelis. I remember this class so vividly, and it almost made me a politics minor. Although I did not end up minoring, the class remains incredibly influential to me and my worldview. I have always loved learning about politics, so it was a very easy decision to take this course. I also think it is so extremely valuable to have knowledge about politics, especially in times like these. I loved how Dr. Siavelis ran the class. I remember having such enriching conversations.
Wake Forest has lots of traditions, and sometimes students create their own. Do you have a favorite Wake Forest tradition?
My favorite Wake Forest tradition has to be the football games. I don’t know if this is necessarily a tradition, but it is something me and mom have shared passion for throughout my time here. We both love football, and it was the tradition that made me feel comfortable here at Wake.
Many times at Wake Forest, I felt a bit out of place; so did my mom. My mom always felt like she didn’t have the right outfits, or that she didn’t fit the Wake Forest “vibe.” The football games however, were our element. I have so many amazing memories at the games. We love our Deacs!
I also absolutely adore Love Feast. I sang in the choir for 3 years, and this year I was able to light the candles as a President’s Aide. I truly believe this festival fosters so much community, spirit, and faith. It is absolutely for humanity. I will never forget it.
What surprised you most about your Wake Forest experience?
I was most surprised by the relationships I made with faculty and staff. I was unprepared with how close I would become with much of the faculty, and how deeply invested they would be in who I was becoming, not just what I was achieving. Almost every professor I have met here has wanted me and all their students to be the most successful they could possibly be. They helped me every step of the way. I would not be here today without them.
I expected strong academics, but I didn’t expect my professors to guide me through some of the hardest and most defining decisions of my college life. I have close relationships with most of my professors, and I am so incredibly grateful. I think this is something about Wake Forest that is unique, and special.
Who most impacted your Wake Forest experience?
The connections and community I have built, like the relationships I have formed with my professors and faculty, have been so extremely impactful to my Wake Forest experience.
I adore the staff here. They have been so kind to me, and supportive. Whether it was the pit workers or security guards, they made me feel so at home, and that I had love and support around me. I have known Brenda, my favorite library security guard, for years. Currently she knows when all of my final exams are, and has always remembered me and what is going on in my life. I will miss her and the rest of the staff so much when I leave here.
I would also like to mention Ann Phelps, the Director of Programming for The Program of Leadership and Character. She has served as a mentor, and mother, in my time at Wake. I am so incredibly blessed that our paths have crossed. She has taught me to embrace the parts of myself that I’ve wanted to hide, and showed me what it looks like to love myself and others well. She has taught me that staying true to the person you are is the most grounding gift you can give yourself. She has taught me to love earnestly, and care deeply, with compassion. She has taught me to question and clarify my calling, and has shown me the importance of remaining whole, and true to my character. She exemplifies her teachings, and proves to me that it is worth being good. I admire and love her wholeheartedly.
What was the most rewarding experience you had as a Wake Forest student?
Going abroad to Vienna, Austria was both the hardest and most rewarding experience I have had at Wake Forest. It was really important to acknowledge that despite being abroad, it was still life, there were still problems, and I was still allowed to have them. Creating a space that feels like home in a place so new, around people who you do not necessarily choose to be with, is difficult, and scary, and raw. Abroad was full of the both/and, where things can be so hard, but so beautiful; so exhausting, and so life-giving. I cultivated so much resilience, and I am very grateful.
I have newfound freedom to be alone, and not lonely. I never felt more competent, and it is something that has allowed me to flourish in more ways than one.
Being more alone than I ever had gave me the opportunity to be out of my comfort zone, and much more vulnerable to new people around me. When you do not have a security blanket of friends, you find yourself immersed into the surrounding community much more. It allowed me to find community within myself as well, and be comfortable in my own company.
Abroad taught me what I deserve in the people I keep close to me, and the effort needed to keep a friendship alive of this distance, and those willing to do so. In both a friendship and a leadership position, effort must be made in order to establish trust, boundaries, and a sense of security within the relationships that you are in and want to create. I have learned how important this safety is for me, especially in positions where these relationships are what promotes a successful environment. The type of space you create is necessary for success, and creating one that is safe enough for those hard questions and an environment that promotes growth is hard to do without the aforementioned effort.
Abroad taught me that I am capable of being a leader and I have the competence and independence to do so.
Imagine you return to campus for your 10-year reunion. What do you hope will remain the same? What do you hope will be different?
I hope that there are still all of the beautiful trees and nature around. It’s what makes campus so special to me. I love how seasons change so vividly, how the magnolias bloom, how the light filters through the leaves during the late afternoon.I just love the beauty on this campus.
I hope the sense of community is still here too, and even moreso. Where the motto Pro Humanitate isn’t just something we say, but something we live by, through music, service, conversation, and the way we show up for each other. I hope the faculty and staff continue to be as invested in students’ character as they are in their success. That kind of support has shaped me more than any grade or accolade.
At the same time, I would like to hope that the campus looks more diverse than it does now. I hope Wake Forest becomes a place where more students from all backgrounds feel seen, heard, and truly at home. Inclusion currently feels more like an initiative than a lived experience. I hope that who we choose to uplift, the stories we tell, and the voices we center, reflect a deeper commitment to justice, equity, and belonging.
Now that you are a graduating student, what advice do you wish you could have given yourself as an incoming student four years ago?
If I could speak to my first-year self, I think I’d tell her she doesn’t have to try so hard to be like everyone else. That she can move at her own pace, and still end up where she needs to be. I’d tell her that the parts of her she thought she needed to outgrow are the very things that will shape how she cares for people.
I don’t know if I’ll look back and call this time perfect. I don’t think I need to. It was formative. It was hard. It changed me in ways I’m still coming to understand. And I’m leaving with a version of hope that feels much louder than it used to. Less about what might happen, and more about how I want to live. My career plan when I first came to Wake Forest was to become a PA. I knew I wanted to help people, and that seemed like a way to do that. I didn’t have much motivation behind it, and I didn’t know where my vocational desires would align.
Compare your career plans as a first-year student with your career plans now. Why did your plans change or not change?
My career plan now still may be PA school, but there is a bit less certainty in my exact career path. I have clear goals of what I want to do for people and the world, but the “how” is still a bit up in the air.
I may have less clarity on exactly what I will be doing after school, but I have much more clarity of the person on am, and my purpose.